Saturday

Day 5 - Everybody's workin' for the weekend...PERFECT!

My 14yo burst into chorus with this the other day which took me by surprise because I had no idea she had ever even heard this very 80's-long-before-she-was-born song, and it has lingered in my brain all week. It brings back vivid memories of being a young adult and the anticipation leading up to Rock Night at the local clubs (yes Virginia, I was a 'rocker chick' complete with BIG hair and spandex and or the mini's and stilletos...ay yiyi!)...


while I have long since traded in "Ladies Night" at Bangles or the Rush (both LONG gone today) for a tamer breed of action (business networking, Criminal Minds marathon on cable, PTA, etc.) I can still remember the "48 hr diet".  Two days before rock night you stopped eating and started chain-smoking to kill your appetite so you could squeeze yourself into your almost non-existent mini and have perfectly smooth and flat .... um... 'lines' for lack of better terminology. In "the day" even a 5lb fluctuation could send you screaming into the streets. Nothing jiggled and there were no 'dimples' and this could be achieved in under 48 hours by sheer will power.   So when I remember the song what immediately pops into my brain is the survival kit - 6 pack of Pepsi, 2 packs of Marlboro Lights, and a desire to have the flattest abs and smoothest rear of your group. This carried you through the 48 hours to doors open. Obviously we were a very healthy bunch with good ideals and habits....

No longer could I go that long without food, and I gave up smokes and the pepsi diet over a decade ago, however I still long for that "quick fix" that smooths it all out in two days. Logically I know it's gonna take a lot of hard work for a long time...I just don't want it to.  Have to say being around the fashion and music industry again as of late has ultimately inspired and frustrated me on so many levels. My bestie Jason and I were joking the other day about the "model diet" of water and a tic-tac every two hours - haha - what he doesn't know is that in the back of my mind I was actually considering how I would be able to implement that plan and survive it and the lengths I would be willing to go to some days to not be so "fluffy"! But reality kicks in and the truth is, that kind of skinny isn't really "better".  I had just as many complaints back then - mostly I wanted BOOBS which that kind of skinny doesn't offer - and now I don't want to give them up.  Kinda spoiled now not being mistaken for a 12 year old boy... I do like being a girl!  So it isn't really about the 'diet'.  It's about healthy - physically healthy and body-image healthy.  And underneath it all I DO believe that a fluffy girl can be every bit as sexy when she's confident and complete with who she is (thank you friends at DeVelo mag for observing confidence as greater than body style when I asked how they choose models - greater impact than you know!).  Ultimately, I want to be healthy.  I don't want to sacrifice length or quality of my life to try to live up to some un-achievable standard.  I honestly want everything to work the way it should and to be able to enjoy what the Good Lord gave me for long enough to enjoy the generations yet to come of my growing family. Of course I want to be sexy and confident - who doesn't? But honestly, it is not weight that determines those qualities.

I heard another song for the first time this week which reduces me to tears everytime I hear it. So much of our life experiences influence the "who we become", including our confidence levels and body image.  And for those of us who started out in this world with many obstacles and did not have the happy happy joy joy growing up of the fairy tales we can either let it mold us into FABULOUS (thank you Shannon Piserchio, I love you!) or we choose to be the victim.  I'm choosing fabulous. And if there's one thing I want for my children and all of the up and comers to get it's this: no one else can decide for you, it's up to you.  DO NOT let the ignorance of others or the harm they intend you DEFINE YOU. You can't control anyone else and people will always try to bring you down.  There will be obstacles and struggles. But never forget that at the end of the day YOU ARE F***ING PERFECT just the way you are!!!!!!  SO love it - embrace it - own it - and take really good care of it because it will always be with you to the end of your days...  I leave you with this:






pretty pretty please, don't you ever EVER feel like you're anything LESS than perfect!
and there, dear reader, you have my heart.

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